Happiness is one of those things that is hard to obtain for a person such as myself that used to believe that the glass was always empty instead of seeing it as always half full. A somewhat pessimist , a person who let my so-called downfalls swallow me whole. I have lived life with a half assed smile, laughing to keep from crying so to speak. As I’ve gotten older, lived life experiences (good and bad) , evaluated why I’ve allowed myself these lackluster emotions for so long and really just took a long, hard look at the “real” me. I have come to the conclusion that happiness comes from deep within. This motto has been spoken from the tongues of many, however it has to be truly believed within as well.
At almost 40 years old this is my realization. My revelation. We all go through trying times and everyday struggles.Life can have it’s way of turning you upside down and inside out with no light at the end of the tunnel. Normal things like bills, our children, work, the lack thereof and just everyday occurrences can stress us the hell out and cause happiness to go clear and straight out the window. Is there a pill one can take to get and stay happy all the time? Why no of course not , although B-vitamins, and St.John’s Wort help, along with the list of Pharmaceutical drugs on the market that can place you in LALa land. Without taking any pill or concoction, I’ve learned that you must look within yourself! How do you perceive joy? Do you feel deserving of it? and if you don’t ,why not? Ask yourself the hard questions so that you really get to know what you “really need” and how you can change in order to receive the things that you “need”.
I don’t know one person that does not want to be “happy”. It’s in our DNA, some people are just genetically wired to be happy folk , while the rest o us have to find our “happy” and bottle it. It can’t come from a wine bottle or carafe of Ciroc at bottle service, it has to be pure from the heart and soul search “happiness. You have to be unafraid of yourself. Look at “you” because only “you” can control your thoughts, feelings, beliefs. How do you perceive yourself? Your future, your past, your present? Do you hold onto pain, do you hold grudges? Do you view yourself as a victim? Do you feel worthy of happiness? Many people find it very difficult to ask themselves these questions . They also find it hard to simply look at the bright side of things in their lives because of the constant curveball that life sometimes throws at them. They throw in the towel and settle for the gloom, drinking cups of sour lemons, instead of enjoying the pink lemonade! Purposefairy.com states that ,”happy people fear less and love a lot more! They see each moment, challenge, and person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.”
Those of us that aren’t in that group have to start looking at the blessings and positive things that we have going on in our lives . Tuning in to fearing less and loving more! Doing things that you love. Surrounding yourself with positive people who care about you and lift you up! Share ideas, engage in fun activities that boost up those “good endorphins’. Exercise and get out in the good sunshine for some natural Vitamin D! Heck share a bottle of wine with friends, but let me tell you wont find your “happy” at the bottom of it. It should be there before you pop the cork. I know from experience. There were times where I have felt angry or down about something and would pop open a bottle of wine with company, to feel better about things. It (does not) work! I now call it temporary joy because once the high wears off, back to square one. You can not drown your sorrows with a bunch of fermented grapes, or whatever type of liquor you fancy. It doesn’t fix the problem and you wind up feeling worse sometimes. I can admit I was one of those people not willing to embrace happiness. Grouchy, moody and negative. Not willing to do the “work” to turn my emotions around and let the light in. Like many of us falsifying our joy to please others! Be happy for “YOU”, no one else first and the rest of the world will thank you. Don’t do it to fake it til you make it on “Facebook”, or for a special occasion. This must be a lifestyle change for the long term! No one likes a “Debbie Downer”. It took me awhile to realize that being “happy” feels much better than being”sad”. I had to exclusively love myself and where I am at in life now, irregardless if I don’t really “like” where I’ at. Take it in stride that it could all be much worse. I am healthy , have a roof over my head , with clothes to wear and shoes on my feet! Life is good, I am blessed! How can I not be appreciative, happy, content. I have everything I need right now in this moment! happiness is an acquired taste and I am enjoying the flavors.
As I write this blog, I can honestly say that I am now a “happy” person. Sure I have my bad days where I revert back to pessimistic thinking. I am human but I am also growing and learning. Learning to discern that happiness is where I should and will be because I know what it takes to own that mindset. I am finally adhering to the happy “me” that I was placed here on this earth to be. I smile more genuinely, curb stress better, and the wine bottle is surely no longer, half
empty. Nowadays its just “full”.
East Bay Frugal Mama 